Why I don´t ask anyone to chant for me?

Ahh don´t worry, i am sure many of you won´t even read it thanks to the Blunt title ;)

Well truth is bitter and at least i can say it for myself without telling you to do what you should or shouldn´t.

Soon going to hit 6 years to my journey of practicing this Buddhist philosophy. Some days i am rocking and other days i can barely crawl. Most of my these 6 years, my fight has gone only tougher and so i got only stronger. I have come a long way from sensitive and emotionally vulnerable girl to groomed, strong and independent lady. I found self love including love for my flaws from looks, body or my career perspective with some grown up vision and love for my single life and beauty of dressing up for myself and so on. 

Major karma i face includes relationships from family, friends and work with spice of financial, career and home and so on. Anything left no :P Any regrets, NO :) Any doubts for practice, NO :)

Why i chose not to ask anyone to do Daimoku for me?

• I am a Buddha, I am my Gohonzon and believing in law means believing that i am a buddha.

• I took buddhist practice because it gives me power to be my own creator. It means i have power to change my life for good with my faith in daimoku. 

• I look inside me and bring my power out to face my challenges rather than looking out like a beggar and asking others to help.

• If someone themselves support me by their daimoku then i am grateful and i do appreciation daimoku. 

Reason: I never encountered any leader or sensei asking anyone to chant for them in fact only guidance or words I ever got is, ¨please chant for yourself, your buddhahood and so on¨ because it is always my Daimoku for my life. If I don´t have faith in my Daimoku and my buddhahood and me being a Bodhisattva then surely no one can save me. My strong ichinen may protect my family but it is my own action and my own Daimoku that permeates to the life of the people around me likely said, ¨One who prays will see receive benefits and protection for the seven generation of his family¨. Even the thought of asking someone to chant for me makes me cringe out of fear that my faith is not enough or i am once again looking out for a god to save me. 

Every obstacle made me go back to basics, strengthen my three pillars of faith, practice and study and there has been no looking back rather i chant for others but majorly for them to realize their limitless potential on base of faith and understand the limitless power of their own Gohonzon. To conclude, let´s not forget NIchiren Daishonin Buddhism was started with the main principle of not dependent on any priest to chant for us rather to be able to lead our own lives.

Crux: If you can´t eat food or take shower or pay my rent or workout on my behalf or i can´t ask you to do gongyo for me right? Then why would you chant and grow spiritually or my behalf because it won´t work like when i eat and do things for myself. Similarly our practice is no different.

Happy Chanting

What should i do? How should i pray? How can i do more activities?

These question are very common after all we are so busy these days with family, work and then house work and additional health care and so on. Obviously, where do we have time to chant or home visit or go to meetings when we can barely finish with our daily activities. After all, we are so sleepy that 6 hour sleep is never enough or talking with friends or sitting with family or going for movies on Sunday is more tempting than going to a meeting. 

So, how do we or when should we work on our three pillars of practice?

Self talk: I sat down and thought about my whole day schedule and realized that the reason i am asking these questions is that i know i am not giving my best. I know i can do my best but it will need me to work harder and organise better. So, what did i decide?

I personally stay 12-15 hours outside my house including work and gym. Then how and why should i practice? 

Firstly, it was important for me to understand the reason why i practice just for benefits or to really change my negative karma into positive? Well for me, my Buddhism practice is like center of my life, if i don´t make by daimoku as base of everything then i lack wisdom to organize better or do my best. Eventually, i take small happenings of day including remarks of people like from my boss, colleagues or friends too personally. It lowers my life state, mood and eventually i end up losing my focus and i mess up everything. Without a high life state, i end up falling in face of challenges and feel hopeless. I don´t even feel the fire to continue with life or grow further in my life. 

Conclusion: Buddhism practice is food for my soul and it is my only way to stay strong spiritually, it only help me walk courageously through my daily challenges but also gives me protection and opportunities to improve myself. Eventually, these good points are not only in my own life but they also permeates to the life of people around me including my family, friends and colleagues and so on. 

Ques: How do i do everything despite of mess of my own life?

Answer: Well, i have understood the importance of practice so there is no doubt i have to do it despite of my laziness or chilling out when i should chanting. You must have heard, ¨if  it is important enough then you will make time and do it.¨ So it goes for our practice, if you truly want to make Gohonzon as center of your life then you will make it one by first waking up and chanting and putting your best food forward for the day. If you have ichinen then you will, chant to be able work efficiently so that you can do a home visit in evening. If you have heart filled with Nichiren Daishonin spirit then you will make it to the meetings on weekends and if Sensei´s word touched you, then you will not give up in face of challenges. 

Take home message:

Don´t ask others but ask yourself, if you are not giving your best and not putting Gohonzon or this practice as center of your life then you know it deep down. If you want to see those changes that others report in their victories then you have to put action and chant to be able to over come your weakness and live life with that limitless potential through faith. 

If you are already doing enough with activities, daimoku or study then it will be reflected in your life state, and daily life that is free from doubts or questions. 

If you feel like you see no movement or feel like, you take one step ahead but find yourself 5 steps behind… oops, What to do?

You do daimoku, take new determination or challenge for going to the meeting and suddenly something happens and you are like ¨Dammit I take one step forward and Bammm, 5 steps back¨.

Incidence: Just 2 weeks ago, I was going for home visits and meetings despite of 30 or 70km distance but for some reason I knew that despite huge issues I already had, it was silence before the storm. As soon as I got back, I was set on fire with work deadlines and went to a conference with my boss and a fellow colleague where I had a good response to my work but this spirit was destroyed soon with constant negative remarks from my boss. As If didn’t have enough on my plate, someone pick pocketed my wallet in a new country with all my cash, cards, visa etc. Running back and forth to police, embassy and story goes on, I reached a point of being left with nothing but only faith. While i am aiming for my biggest goal of practice for coming November 18 which was put into action almost a year ago.

Result: I finally had time to cry for a change in last 3 months as I didn’t realise how so many things have happened one after another, from my dad´s health to my lost visa. At first, I felt exhausted and hopeless but after 2 days with lots of daimoku I got up again. I reached out to two people who are my friends and mother´s in faith and my only question to them was, tell me which gosho I need to read? Meanwhile I already got myself in action.

Action: I sat for chanting for hours till I felt little better and then I remembered this mother of faith told me once, ¨Sit for daimoku and put your brain aside and chant to have a new mind filled with wisdom with each nam myoho renge kyo¨. I did it while I put my heart into Gohonzon as a centre of my life. I read gosho continuously till I encountered what I needed. ¨ The Lotus Sutra states that if there are men and women who have firm faith in this sutra the Buddha will support them on his shoulders and carry them on his back. ¨ (Gosho, vol 1: The Supremacy of law)

I did feel like the more I pour in Daimoku, more I was sliding back but that was my mind talking. I looked in my heart and reflected upon everything. Interestingly, it is second time in my whole life that my wallet was stolen. It was just in time as I was moving ahead for the finale of my biggest goal. Obviously, there is no coincidence it all happened as I have a bigger mission and more the darkness, brighter the moon will be. My victories will shine like that full moon on a dark night. I knew all I need now is faith, interestingly being a logical person I was chanting to have more faith in my Gohonzon. And so with Daimoku I knew this is my opportunity to strengthen my faith rather than begrudging about what has happened or feeling like ¨Poor me¨. Every happening is a clear answer to our prayer like a blessing in disguise. Daishonin says,

¨Strengthen your resolve more than ever. Ice is made of water, but it is colder than water. Blue dye comes from indigo, but when something is repeatedly dyed in it, the color is better than that of the indigo plant. The Lotus Sutra remains the same, but if you repeatedly strengthen your resolve, your color will be better than that of others, and you will receive more blessings than they do.¨ (Gosho, vol 1: The Supremacy of law)

Personal learning:

·         This is the time to keep faith and only move forward without any doubt

·         I am trying to re-polish my gongyo while improving quality of Daimoku

·         Started byakuren once again with new attitude, I went yesterday not to have time to chant for me but I went there to be at service for other members. Also chanted in morning not for me but for members to achieve their limitless potential and joy as they come to kaikan.

·         I have left my problems on side without thinking too much as I focus on my determination to send my victory report to sensei for coming November 18.

Take home message:

If you ask me next time, what I should do now, my life is hopeless. And I will answer consistent practice, polish your 3 pillars of practice above all chant for others and take gakkai duties not for selfish purpose of victory but to really be there as a bodhisattva when you can´t even stand for yourself.

Part 2: How to Practice with Nichiren Daishonin's spirit and receive benefits? (Personal Experience)

And there we go again, where is my benefit? Where is my new job? Why can’t I overcome him/her? Why it happened with me, when I went out of my comfort zone and gave so much? Why? Why and Why? I don’t see any drastic change and why should I even practice, I am not convinced then how can I convince others.

If you ask me why I practice, answer is I need it more than soka gakkai need one extra member. I can’t live without it; I can’t breathe without Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. I can’t get through shit of my life without it. I am not into Buddhism but Buddhism is in me. I am not practicing anymore to have benefits; I am practicing to believe that I am a Buddha and to be that Buddha each day.

Question: Why would I practice for being Buddha and not for benefits?

Answer: Have you ever given a thought to the fact that we always think that if we got the money, job, relationship, marriage or ideal weight then we will be happy? But then we never reach those goals or even when we do after a lot of troubles or years, we are still unhappy? Because the only answer to above question is we are working against the law. If we are happy then we will naturally reach our goals like “be a Buddha and benefits will come to you”.

Buddhist view: When we going through the challenging phase in our life, it is hard to keep ourselves grounded. We are humans and so we are impatient. We need results in days or we are ready to blame the practice. Let’s look at it like this, practicing Buddhism is like sitting in an airplane, going big and long distance or short yet the lack of feeling the motion makes us grow impatient. We need to trust that our practice is not different from sitting in the plane, feeling like there is no movement; we are watching same cloud (problems) for hours and hours. It doesn’t mean that we are not moving rather what we need to focus is on the present things. Like during 12 hour flights I used to be impatient now I take it calmly with enjoying the meal or watching movies or reading and taking naps in between. It is like focusing on what can I do today to move one step closer to my goal. Learn to embrace the journey, learn to apply the buddhist practice every day and turn that poison into medicine. 

As Sensei said, “Someone who at first may seem to be a hopeless case can, by achieving major self-transformation through their Buddhist practice, become an inspiration to countless others. Also, times when you are suffering intensely, when you don’t know what to do or which way to turn, can become opportunities for making great strides in your human revolution. If you tend to be discouraged easily, just refresh your determination each time that happens. People who are resolved to see problems as opportunities and keep try again and again, forging ahead with unflagging optimism, will definitely succeed in their human revolution.”

Key points:

1.       Daimoku is source or base of everything: Don’t forget Daimoku itself is not everything so if you say I do chanting then why things are not happening. Back off, it is like having electricity in house but you can’t turn on any appliance if you don’t switch them on and work with them.

2.       Practice is 24x7: Practice includes daimoku, meetings and encouraging others but then it also includes you actions at home, work and in surroundings. Remember our thoughts, deeds and actions which meaning my way of thinking and then approaching things is my first base of creating my new causes for karma.

3.       Buddha receives benefits: More we work on bringing out our Buddha nature and more we practice to maintain our high life state; more will be benefits. High life state leads to wisdom with right actions. Right actions leads to right causes and so we break the negative karmic chain. So, we can say “Buddha only can receive benefits”.

Happy Chanting

Part 1: How to Practice despite the struggles and keep Nichiren Daishonin's spirit? (personal experience)

Whether you have read your whole gosho multiple times or done with millions of daimoku; or you are just a newbie to this word of Buddhist philosophy. Let me bring these phrases of Nichiren Daishonin once again in the light and let's embrace it and feel it flowing in our veins so that we can embrace our tremendous good fortune:

"This I will state. Let the gods forsake me. Let all persecutions assail me. Still I will give my life for the sake of the Law. . . . Here I will make a great vow. Though I might be offered the rulership of Japan if I would only abandon the Lotus Sutra, accept the teachings of the Meditation Sutra, and look forward to rebirth in the Pure Land, though I might be told that my father and mother will have their heads cut off if I do not recite the Nembutsu —whatever obstacles I might encounter, so long as persons of wisdom do not prove my teachings to be false, I will never yield! All other troubles are no more to me than dust before the wind. I will be the pillar of Japan. I will be the eyes of Japan. I will be the great ship of Japan. This is my vow, and I will never forsake it! (The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, vol. 1, pp. 280–81)"

While we give reasons like my parents are not allowing me to practice or I have got so much work to do and so on that we can’t even spare one hour twice a month for the meetings while Nichiren Daishonin had a spirit to not only practice but kept going on steadfast in faith despite the life threatening remarks directed to him and his parents as well. He didn’t give in to the circumstances not because he didn’t love his parents or his own life rather he believed in the power of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. I know it can be hard to practice when we are so deluded in family issues or long job hours but this is when we need to keep our faith steadfast, this is what means when sensei says Practice with spirit of Nichiren Daishonin or Toda sensei. Presently, i am living in a place where i have only 2 WDs in 40 km of area whereas only nearest meeting is 70 km. Despite, all the challenges my prayer got answered and i went 30km to do my first meeting as a home visit in Germany. I met someone who had a similar experience that i am chanting to have in coming months. She shared her experience and i had tears in my eyes in fact she called herself as my mother. I also cried when i could chant in front of gohonzon for first time in Germany. In fact i will go again to see her another weekend before i leave and we are targeting for Marathon Daimoku. Another prayer got answered when i figured out that today i will go for that 70 km distance to attend my first discussion meeting here. I know it will be in German and i will have no clue but Daimoku is a universal language and heart is what matters. 

Another important  said:

"Although I and my disciples may encounter various difficulties, if we do not harbor doubts in our hearts, we will as a matter of course attain Buddhahood. Do not have doubts simply because heaven does not lend you protection. Do not be discouraged because you do not enjoy an easy and secure existence in this life. This is what I have taught my disciples morning and evening, and yet they begin to harbor doubts and abandon their faith. Foolish men are likely to forget the promises they have made when the crucial moment comes. (WND-1, 283)"

I have spent my only 2 weeks break in last whole year in hospital and with doctors trying to keep my father alive and my family strong while i went to gohonzon to keep myself strong. While i spent last 2 weeks trying to support them emotionally and especially through my Daimoku when doctors gave up on my father. Amidst of all, i got to know my close aunt is hospitalised as well and her husband is going through another challenge. I knew nothing has happened by chance rather these all scenarios are my answered prayers. My father has a bigger mission as he brought my family closer and my aunt's health helped me with expanding my compassion for my cousins despite a very bumpy road of relationships in past few years. This is what i call, having a high life condition where i had wisdom to put aside my personal differences and chant for them like i have chanted for my own family and friends. This is the Buddha's spirit where we only wish for everyone's happiness; this is kosen rufu. 

Not only, i have found my peace and surely i have full faith that no matter what may come, it will eventually be for my family, friends and my own happiness even though it might not seem like that for now. 

Happy Chanting

What i tell myself when i look into mirror each morning?

I am who i am,

Ageing like wine,

I am not old,

I am younger than i felt yesterday.

I made it today,

and i am proud of it.

I survived what nobody saw,

I won over the evils.

I twirl, I swing 

hand in hand with my demons.

I might see those wrinkles,

marks, stretch marks, puffy eyes

yet i feel nothing but pride.

They are not my scars from war.

They are the medals i won,

all along those wars.

I don't need you to tell me,

where i belong

as i know i am the queen

made on my own.

I don't need a prince,

even my king will bend in front of me.

I will continue to fight,

and i will sing in the same light.

I am the Warrior, I am the Goddess

and

I am who I am.

How do I know, I am practicing right or wrong or if I am chanting enough?

Let me ask you one simple question, if you are chanting for hours, or if you have read whole gosho 2 or 3 times or even more then why are you in low life? Don’t take me wrong for asking this question, I am just trying to make you ask yourself if you have invested in so many hours then why do you still feel so low? You know I ask myself this question every time I feel deadlocked or every time I am thinking on closing my Daimoku, if after closing my Daimoku am I still in low life?  For example, a week ago when I had to be the Sun of my family, I was perfectly fine, chanting and reading Gosho and laughing loud and making jokes with my family. In fact, one time my father came out of his room just to sit with us as he heard my loud laughter.  Interestingly, thanks to practice I am still really good at laughing and making jokes even in amidst of tears or tough days.  But then, the first day I got back to my work life miles away from my family, I got anxious thinking about them and how will I support them. Sooner, I took control of how I felt but then yesterday again I had another day where I felt weak in my knees.

Question:  So, how do I take control of how I feel?

Answer: I listen to my own thoughts,  like if they are getting more negative or if I am feeling low that is a clear sign that my foundation of Buddhist practice is getting weak. Sometimes, I am so soaked on thinking about a person either a family member or a friend that I am going down and down in my life state. This is a clear sign that my happiness is dependent on other person and it is a call of urgency to put my Gohonzon back in the center of my life. I take a good look at my pillars of faith, practice and study and then I work immediately to keep it together and stronger.

I did same last evening when I felt deadlocked and I determined to do a vigorous chanting for an hour, with each daimoku I determined to change my karma and raise my life condition believing that I am a Buddha. I read some gosho lectures and at the end of Daimoku and study, I immediately felt a surge of hope that I am going to overcome every single obstacle.

Crux: I don’t practice based on hours or millions of daimoku, I personally suck at keeping count of that. But what I am improving at is listening to my thoughts, words and observing my deeds. If I lack hope or i feel deadlocked then I know either my attitude in daimoku, or my study or practicing with others has gone weak. When despite the first two, I feel like something is not right, then I know I have to reach out to my fellow members even if it is through electronic contact like these days when I am living in a deserted area with no members around. Above all, when Gohonzon is center of our life then everything will fall in place, as my happiness and sadness all depends on Gohonzon and not a person or object.

Homework for all of us: Let’s analyze our attitude and our daily actions, are we making excuses that we have no time to chant or are we putting gohonzon as center of our life before facing any struggle. Are we talking in a vicious circle of negative words like why me?  Are we taking any actions like chanting and working towards improving ourselves or just sitting around and thinking and questioning practice?

Learn to listen to yourself and you will know when and where you are lacking to reach your goals.

Happy Chanting