With a perfect timing of a fellow member´s blog on President Ikeda's Guidance on Marriage (Ref: http://eagle-peak.blogspot.com.es/2017/01/president-ikedas-guidance-on-marriage.html) , here i am with a personal experience in complete accord with it.
Guidance:
Experience:
From a history of really hardcore shitty relationships with no respect to respectful on outside and finally, practice has brought me to a level of respectful, compassionate, supportive, someone proud of me and so much more in my fortune for relationship karma. And this whole chain of transformation started with practice and on going with same. I will keep my focus with pointers down below to reflect how this guidance is apt and practical for relationships.
1. ¨together with their sights set on lofty goal and strive for true happiness¨ - for now i am only one practicing in my scenario yet working together as a couple is crucial. Working together like a musical rhythm is rare to me and i rarely see this quality in couples these days expect mature couples. When sensei talks about love or relationships or marriage, his stress is always on being together but not being clingy. He is talking about working together to grow in our own lives while being there for each other and growing together. I witnessed it personally in a day to day life while we were working on our own stuff, sharing nothing in that moment more than sitting in same room. Not having to do things together all the time or the need to talk constantly does reflect a pure understanding and the comfort one has with other person which is surely a sign of healthy relationship. With taking all this into account, i have learnt and witnessed how growing together can define understanding, learning about each other, finding a way to meet other half way at different aspects of life.
2. ¨Patience is necessary for a couple to live together¨ - While new couples are either all blinded in love with unlimited excitement look at the partner with all being perfect and magical, feeling zero gravity, whereas I met him after a long wait of a year and half yet we were no close to honeymoon phase rather i found myself living a life of comfort that comes after years of togetherness. Such calmness, patience in our daily routine with a feeling of coming to one´s home. Some moments were about one person cooking and other watching while we sat to eat in silence, other days listening to music and having conversation. Some days were like a boring married life others filled with my anxiety while he kept patience and help me ease it while it eventually passed. Being together for 24 x 7 will usually be crazy whereas i kept patience when i was filled with frustration or at least tried my best to keep my mouth shut and his patience to deal with me created a perfect balance that made us not only come together as one but grow on daily basis.
As an individual with a hardcore relationship karma either with love or friend for my whole life, i must share this. If one is in rhythm with mystic law and we trust the lotus sutra strategy more than our own mind strategies to meet our kosen rufu partners, one will only move forward with transforming our karma and building our own ideal relationships with our own ideal partners. Our relationships will have flaws yet the flaws that only add to the beauty like the holes on the moon. You will have rough days or fights but as long as you are willing to share the weight together and wake up another day with determination to work further to lighten that weight, there is no way you won´t be happy. Happy couples are happy as they grow together through all the good and bad, their together doesn't have to be same in words or opinion but just having each other´s back is sometimes is all that is required.
Happy chanting
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