How to be Happy Single yet Committed

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. 

Helen Keller

There i was standing on the edge, feeling the wind and putting my mind to rest. Though my heart races and i knew what i need was you and only you. I have lived clinging to arm of my dad while i lived my life without holding a hand. Today, you found me or love found me, your eyes looking at me like i look at the moon. It was enough for me to fall in love with you but i knew falling in love leads to broken heart. Time went on love didn't fade but my longing for me has definitely raised and so for you. We are hungry souls looking for each other's touch and melting in the arms like dancing souls. It will be the melancholy of our love that will last even if we part our ways.  

You are the poetry my heart reads, you are the love i feel, you are the hope i hope, you are the miracle i believe. Then i knew i went too far, and my longing for you was turning into obsession leading to depression. I knew i have fallen in love and so i was heart broken. Then it was the time where i needed to raise myself and i started learning how to lift myself up and stop falling in love.

Its not love that makes you fall, it is expectations and day dreaming. It is hoping that person will behave like you wish them to but we keep forgetting the reality of how different we all are from each other. It is expecting them to say words you wish to hear or propose you when you feel like. Expectations to have surprises and desire to have more and more and list goes on.

Long distance relationship experience has taught me a lot, how to let people be on their own and set them free. If love exist they will come home and i only believe in becoming home and the safe place where he would like to go when the world starts looking down on him. When the world stares and they run after him, when the whole life seems useless, when hopes shatters and sadness prevails, he will come to me. When the joy prevails, and he will need someone to share that joy and i will be a text away. Till then i am living my life and i want him to live his.

Happy single is my motto as i live through my daily up and downs. hang out with my girlfriends and have those lazy evenings where i do nothing but stretch my legs and just lie in the sofa. I don´t even bother to turn on that TV as it is nothing but noise, i don´t even open the novel i am reading as even that seems like work. I have found the peace in me, i let myself be laid back and then when i am active i run for buying groceries and experiment my new cooking ideas and put laundry after laundry. Then some guy friends come around and we share a bliss of connection with a little flirty air around but i will never go beyond that. My heart knows it is okay to talk and have a little hang out while i stay close in heart and my heart belongs to him. I dress up for me, put my new cute top for me while i share a picture with him once in a while with the idea of sharing the joy of me feeling happy and upbeat. 

Love is loving with no set limits, love is flowing like water and love is love that we neither give nor take, let alone be felt within and with out.

KPK