Protection prayer opened gates of benefits - Nam myoho renge kyo

A 3 month journey which was kept sealed between my lips for so many reasons but here i am ready to take my leap of faith.

With the sound of heavy rains, and my brain evaluating the words of a WD who contacted me two days back, asking if I am okay as I didn´t write any blog in past 3 months. It made me wonder if there is any way I can write upon past months.

It all started with that day where I got to know that I need to submit my thesis in 45 days, normally people write in 6 months or 1 year. Well I was in such a shock that I didn’t even know how to react and I kept laughing. Somehow I was still okay well there is no choice so let’s do it. Chant and work was my only principle. What I didn’t know was it was time to go through not only challenges of career but financial, living situation, health and relationships.

Following 45  days, i did nothing but work like a machine while living situation was so dark that I was at a point of moving or finding a place to sleep peacefully for one night. The only person with whom I used to talk about my life was gone. But despite all that I was like I will reach the end and all the movements and struggles are happening for one or the other reason. Daimoku gave me strength to say yeah I will do it. Finally, with continuous daimoku, home visits and every Friday evening in kaikan with daimoku and study I continued going further. After 3 weeks, something happened, I created many new causes for my living situation but the place I went to see left me feeling so vulnerable that I was shattered into pieces. I was left so vulnerable that I couldn’t stop my tears and my real proof was that still I didn’t have any doubts. I had a lot of decisions to make so I was lost and exhausted but finally I did everything and every single decision has turned into a clear proof. Suddenly, I got a huge protection as well in terms of my kosen rufu home that after 12 hours of writing and typing, going back to home cooked meals thanks to my Italian family. Not only this, with a spur of the moment I got a financially good offer to travel to Italy after my submission of thesis. I got my tickets not knowing what will happen (can´t share details due to privacy of other person). I was taking action and I was just going forward with no expectations. Challenges continued, my health was destroyed and an event with some harsh words left me feeling useless, demotivated for a whole weekend just 5 days before submission.
I continued with my daimoku, kaikan or meeting members, I only remembered one guidance I had months ago ¨you will see¨. I have been living in a dark tunnel, every day new mails with new issues and till date things are not sorted. Despite all that, I said something to my boss expressing how I felt and she gave me moral support. I fought on and on the evening before submission (Thursday) my bosses called me for a sudden meeting. Surprisingly, they asked me to postpone my submission to Monday. This way I got a whole weekend even though thesis was already written and read my own work and finally the work my submitted under the impossible deadline. Challenges from work didn´t stop, many administrative challenges came further on delaying the official process. I have to say later that week I had a most beautiful conversation with my mother which was a real proof of how my practice has helped me transform my bond with her. The conversation was two way, she listened to me and I shared how much I have been fighting in my life. She listened and said I know not everyone can do this. That evening I chanted with nothing but gratitude, I could have never imagined that it was possible to talk to my mom like that. During all these 45 days, not for a single day I missed my gongyo or daimoku.

25^th july, Victories so far… thesis sent for external reviewers, living situation back to my safe place, family stood by my side, the one person I needed was there again to support me. Above all, I didn’t give up.

I have to agree, my biggest strength in that time was i was there for ywds or my group. My human revolution was my happiness and sadness were mine, but when i step out of my room, i lived like a bodhisattva of the earth, I continued sharing practice with people and i was verbal of the fact that thanks to practice i am doing okay except i am just tired. 

To be continued…