Many of us
wonder, why it takes too long for victories or actual proof to come for some
while others have it every now and then. Then you try to share your heart with
fellow members or friends and they say yeah you shouldn´t doubt or have fear.
You must talk to the seniors and take guidance as you must be doing something
wrong. And there we go other person has given you their verdict of their own
judgements about you right away. To the same context here is something i have
been challenging for more than a month now.
Q: How do i
Practice?
Minimum 2
hours or daimoku while on weekends 3-4 hours. But last 10 days i have done 4
hours of daimoku every single day with a
gosho daily and try to apply it every opportunity i get in the name of
struggle. To understand how hard it is, i leave home 6-7am of morning and
return 8-9pm basically living 14-15 hours outside home. I read sensei´s
guidance and book almost every day, attending every single meeting, active
byakuren responsibilities and many other responsibilities i got lately in my
district.
Q: What
happened to my Human revolution?
I have a
biggest transformation of my life lately. First around May 3rd, i realised that
i am at so much peace with my past that it was simply mind blowing to me. I
overcame every little bit of negative thought i had with my family or anyone. I
was so happy that i was literally thinking on every little detail of my past
that how every single mistake of mine has been like dots on the map. These dots
connected in the best possible and suitable way for me. They all connected in
such a way that even if i have missed any single mistake or any wrong decision
then i wouldn´t be here doing what i love doing. I have no words to express my
gratitude to my family and every wrong relationship i had because in true sense
nothing was ever wrong. Every situation made me who i am today. Some friends of
mine know that i had biggest challenge to get along with my mother but with no
surprise in my heart she is the one person whom i have started to cherish most
and most concerned about. The joy of all this is definitely beyond words.
** My
learning is yes my present struggles are hard and they are exhausting but i
know in near future even they will be like connected dots of my past.
Q: How long i
have been struggling in this present mission of mine?
Soon gonna be
2 years :P Trust me it is hard, every morning i use to wake up with chronic
depression but i don´t suffer with depression anymore. Rather i wake up each
single day with a feeling like okay, here i go again and do what i must do as a
bodhisattva of the earth. Yes end of the day I am exhausted like please not
another day but then another morning I carry own with another determination.
Victories:
Every single person i chanted for have got their victories that too way beyond
their expectations and i am sure few more will be coming soon.
You must be
wondering what i am trying to say here. Well, yesterday i got to know something
bad like real bad news. I went home and opened my Butsudan and for like 20
minutes i just sat there looking at my Gohonzon. Till I started admiring the
fact that wow i am one of those bodhisattvas who has volunteered to take all
the Karma and prove that this Mystic law works. I was so overwhelmed that i
didn´t chant. I was determined that i am not going to cry out of pain and do
chant. I knew that every single thing that is manifesting in my environment is
the answer to my prayer. I recalled every single post i have written here in
this group to remember everything i have learnt in my faith till now. People
think my silence is sign of pain but truth is my human revolution is so huge
lately that i don´t have the need to talk or explain.
I know you
are chanting and keeping targets for March 16 then May 3rd then November 18 and
another year has passed by and you are just looking at others sharing their
victories. Trust me once just trust your own faith for once then you will see
that your mission is so huge that you are actually one of the lucky ones who
are going through the human revolution first. If you are not getting the
results you are chanting for it is because a grand victory is coming your way.
Not a single daimoku will go to waste. Faith doesn´t say i will not have human
emotions of fear, or doubt but for me Faith is moving forward and having the
courage to take actions and surpassing my own fears. If you ask me ¨Am i scared
right now? ¨ Answer is ¨Yes¨. But am i victorious? And once again my answer is big
YES. As i know, i as a Priya might have fear but as a Bodhisattva i will never
stop moving forward. My struggles and challenges are merely little bit of
pieces of my mission.
Take home
message:
1.
Don´t doubt your way of
practice if things are not happening like you wish them to. Just keep pressing
forward. You will grow in your own special way.
2.
Don´t let your challenges take
you down or someone telling you like yeah you have doubt so nothing will
happen.
3.
Trust your own faith and your
own actions, till we move forward even if it is a single step, life is moving
forward.
4.
Faith is not absence of fear or
doubt but faith is the courage to take actions and surpass your own fears and
doubts.
5.
Last but not least, if victory
has not come yet believe me when it will come it will come in such a form that
you won´t stop crying because of the joy. Because that victory will be so huge
that you couldn´t have believed that something like this could have happened in
your life.
Keep moving forward
Happy chanting J
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