From being a very introvert person with strong reaction to situations due to unsaid feelings and scarcity in my life in terms of self-esteem, love, friends or success in career, negativity was like my first name. I was fortunate enough to encounter Buddhism at a juncture where I had lost all my hope and I held onto chanting as my crutch. In the beginning, I had no understanding of the principles, but I continued with to participate in meetings. Even though, I had no clear understanding of why, what or how of Buddhism. I started reaping benefits including 7 years abroad in different continents with full scholarship; my father surviving a near death experience and my mother as well. In May 2018, due to 6 months being unemployed in a foreign land with a double PhD; running out of finances and living in a very unsafe environment, I had to return to my birth land India.
Sensei always says, “Without practice and study there can be no Buddhism.” As soon as I landed in India, I immediately dived into gakkai activities while I continued my job hunt. I chanted with one single prayer, “I must fulfil my mission as long as I am in India”. But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I started feeling bleak and lonely as no one really understood that India never felt like home to me, until I found solace in my Mentor’s words. In NHR 25, Sensei writes, “I fully understand the difficulty of having to leave a place you’re familiar with and the members you care about. But the place you are moving to will become your new place of mission, to carry out kosen-rufu. Wherever our life takes us, we should think of ourselves as have been sent there by the Buddha to carry out kosen-rufu. And if you regard yourself as my disciple, be assured you are there in my place, as my representative”.
I took his words “as my representative” by heart and took each opportunity as my personal responsibility whether it was gakaki or my personal life. As my practice grew, I faced more obstacles including a strong resistance towards my practice from my mother. As Daishonin wrote in Letters to brothers, “The flaws in iron come to the surface when it is forged. Put into flames, a rock simply turns to ashes, but gold becomes pure gold. It is even possible that the ten demon daughters have possessed your parents and are tormenting you in order to test your faith.” I continued chanting in hiding or home visits, exerting even more for each and every life backed by three pillars of faith, practice and study. I was determined to practice no matter what oppression I would face in my life. I was determined to create valuable experiences in life of my fellow members.
Eventually, my efforts led me to a benefit of paying my own bills by manifesting a job in India as a scientist. I joined with a heavy heart as it was not an ideal job. I attended a study training course in August'18, stating a guidance on job “you must respect your job as you would respect gohonzon”. With this one line as my personal prayer, I started winning hearts of everyone at work, including pantry staff and security guards of my building. Despite of negative voices such as going back abroad was impossible and increasing marriage pressure, I continued to apply for all research based positions and companies even though chances of being selected by a company from sitting abroad were close to zero.
Meanwhile, my each day would end with automatic rejections from one or the other company. My sister will encourage me by reminding me “the more number of rejections means more dramatic is your experience.” Sensei always says, “We should continue to pray till our prayers are answered. In case of delay in your prayers getting answered, please be convinced that your prayers will be answered in an even bigger way then you can ever imagine.”
In midst of all extreme difficulties in my life I got a reply from sensei to my letter, that he is chanting for me. My vision to move abroad with a job started seeming impossible but every time it was time to take responsibilities in gakkai, I will tell myself stop crying, I will cry at night, right now members need me. I will put a big smile and walk to members home with one simple mission “No one should be left behind”. Like sensei says in NHR 25 “Adversity is a magnificent opportunity for each of us to demonstrate the greatness of our Buddhist faith and practice.”
On the other hand, despite of exceptional performance at work within 8 months handling research department; working alongside sales & marketing teams even though I joined as a scientist, I was denied a well-deserved increment. It reignited mt determination to move abroad to follow my dreams. I started looking for a job even more aggressively with 10-20 CVs globally per day. I determined to not give up on my dream despite of rejections or not landing interviews.
After guidance with a senior leader in Gakkai, I prayed on gosho “attainment of buddhahood in this life time” with a seeking spirit of what more can I do for my fellow members and my personal dream. Mystically, my PhD professor informed me about a job vacancy in a company. I was chanting to enjoy my interviews more than focusing on being selected. Amidst all impossible circumstances, my each round of interview was very enlightening for myself, as my own answers were like an eye opener to me. Even though I never had any experience in this new line of profession, i saw my ow hidden potential and wisdom. I personally came to rejoice my Indian job I had for the tough training. I continued to pray with one prayer as gosho states, “Be clear as moon and be bright as sun and enjoy my experience of interviews instead of feeling worried”.
In past year, I have sent 1200+ CVs for abroad and 600+ CVs within India almost 2000 places globally. With zero interview in India as I was “Over-qualified”. While from abroad, replies were always like “your credentials are impressive”, “you have exceptional CV” … but we have no position or no funding to have you. In fact, I have almost ~40 automatic software based rejections from one big brand company itself situated globally. However, my spirit as Boddhsitava Never disapsraging has never faded.
Meanwhile, I took more responsibilities in Gakkai, I got the call from CEO of the company telling me, “they are very impressed by my interview and my credentials, they will be thrilled to have me on their team as I will be a valuable addition to their team.” My heart screamed with joy, finally I responded to sensei. It was a job offer from a company in my dream continent e as i secretly desired. I knew, it was just another mountain to climb towards my global mission as a bodhisattva of the earth.
I realised, i was not practicing for benefits rather my reason to practice and continue buddhism in life has actually become my life purpose. In midst of all the chaos, i choose to stand by others and for others when it is easy to curl up in bed and cry. Fighting in front lines of kosenrufu this past year, my black life has turned into colourful life, which is visible in my expanding friend circle. For first time I truly believe that I will become happy. Leading my life as a true disciple of sensei, I shine bright and even brighter as sun of happiness in my daily life and wherever I go. From being a lonely person for all my life, I have come down to be the one loved by all and treasured by many. I understand moving again will bring back loneliness and so many more challenges from work performance, personal life to building the life from zero and that realisation has always been there. I know i have come to treasure each meeting with a friend or family or the love i had all this time has been my true treasure of heart.
I realised, i was not practicing for benefits rather my reason to practice and continue buddhism in life has actually become my life purpose. In midst of all the chaos, i choose to stand by others and for others when it is easy to curl up in bed and cry. Fighting in front lines of kosenrufu this past year, my black life has turned into colourful life, which is visible in my expanding friend circle. For first time I truly believe that I will become happy. Leading my life as a true disciple of sensei, I shine bright and even brighter as sun of happiness in my daily life and wherever I go. From being a lonely person for all my life, I have come down to be the one loved by all and treasured by many. I understand moving again will bring back loneliness and so many more challenges from work performance, personal life to building the life from zero and that realisation has always been there. I know i have come to treasure each meeting with a friend or family or the love i had all this time has been my true treasure of heart.
With delay in documentation & visa, I was able to enjoy the inauguration of two grand citadels. In fact, as last leg of my experience, I encountered a huge obstacle regarding visa and I took this as another opportunity and made it my personal mission to have my own personal citadel of faith towards the inauguration with a determination of doing 50 home visits, 100 hours of daimoku & 30 goshos in a month. I surpassed my own goal with 60 homevisits. Like gosho states, “Unseen virtue brings visible rewards, on 20th of September the day before inauguration, my company decided to sponsor my visa application cancelling my personally filed application to speed up the process of 90 days to 2 weeks. Now, I know the meaning of “when we work for the law, law works for us”. Even though I have been always in forefront, but now I can feel even closer to my mentor's vision, I rejoice the success of fellow members and Gakkai as my own.
For past 4 months I have been working in my new land of mission, and I have a deep sense of gratitude that i truly fulfilled my mission back in India. My family and I are much closer while my mother has stepped onto her own journey of Buddhism. My father is very happy despite of recent retirement and even though we are still working towards our financial stability. I am very happy to share, I finally enshrined my gohonzon on 18th nov, 2019 and my mother was filled with joy to see my new altar. I am aware of my present challenges but I also hold my last year learning very close to my heart, I am determined to win over all the obstacles I am facing by basing my life on faith and faith alone.
As a sensei’s daughter, I am determined to always respond to sensei no matter where I am. I am determined to become most joyful person. I am determined to turn my fundamental darkness into living my daily life as a buddha.
To conclude: The strategy of the Lotus Sutra means to put faith in the Gohonzon first in whatever we do, and then make our very best effort upon that basis. In this way, we can bring the impossible within reach. If one devotes himself to the practice of faith in this way, good fortune is sure to follow. With that said, Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism is a teaching for accumulating inexhaustible good fortune, it is a happiness making machine.
Happy Chanting :)
To conclude: The strategy of the Lotus Sutra means to put faith in the Gohonzon first in whatever we do, and then make our very best effort upon that basis. In this way, we can bring the impossible within reach. If one devotes himself to the practice of faith in this way, good fortune is sure to follow. With that said, Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism is a teaching for accumulating inexhaustible good fortune, it is a happiness making machine.
Happy Chanting :)
